Shoe Shopping

Mandy: At the store today we saw some black dominatrix shoes in my size. 

Nick: Oh, is that what the lady's name is on The Matrix?  Donna?

Haircut

Mandy: You know, I sort of have a John Lennon hair cut.

Spice Girls

Dad: I hear the Spice Girls are reuniting for the Olympic closing ceremonies.

Me: Uh... who are the Spice Girls?

Dad: I'm so proud of you.

*Sits on wall*

Spider: *Sits on wall*
Mandy: Get in the cup for me.
Spider: *Doesn't move*
Mandy: Go on, get in the cup and I'll take you outside.
Spider: *Doesn't move*
Mandy: C'mon, lovi, you don't want to die and I don't want to hurt you.
Spider: *Gets in cup*

Urban Defense

Mandy: Ooh, that's a cool gun!
Nick: I know. I want a steampunk bazooka like that one.
Mandy: Wait... for what?
Nick: Urban defense, obviously.

Opera

Mom: I hate how he doesn't blink while he's singing.  It's like he's holding his breath with his eyes.

Bucket List

Mom: You shouldn't have a bucket list, you're twelve.